iCarly: iFall for an Earth Girl
by Nitebreaker
Summary: Takes place during and shortly after the events in "iDate a Bad Boy." Was Griffin really bad? Was he even a boy? A taste of what might have been, and what might yet be.


iCarly: iFall for an Earth Girl

… _._

 _Okay, a little explaining to do._

 _This is my second "iCarly" fanfic. The first was "Sam And Freddie: Worlds Without End," and followed my preferred SamxFreddie format, a 'Seddie' type story. Since I hadn't seen that many episodes of "iCarly", I sorta had to kinda wing it, using more of my own topics, settings, character traits and tendencies, etc._

 _I still don't have the DVDs to watch, so am having to "wing it" again. This story takes place beginning at the episode entitled, "iDate a Bad Boy," and any dissimilarities and breaks from the canonical story will have to be put down to my own ignorance. Hopefully you'll understand._

 _Perhaps…perhaps in another time, another space, maybe even another universe, it could have been like this…_

…

iCarly: "iFall for an Earth Girl"

…

" _My aunt Maggie said I should put this down on paper. I acknowledge that she knows best; she's had some experience with these things before. And so I will, even though I, personally, can see no good as coming of it._

" _My name is not one that I can translate into any human tongue. I suppose its closest English analogue is 'Gryphon,' pronounced 'Griffin.' As I said, it's not my real name. I literally can't tell you my real name._

" _We came to this world five of your years ago, to the area of Seattle, Washington. It was a wonderful experience; I got to see humanity in all its glory. I saw the lines of potential radiating from each and every individual._

" _Sadly, they were not always indicative of potential for the better._

" _We settled in. Aunt Maggie found employment in a local sandwich shop, which suited her. She said later she didn't think she could have stood to have worked in a large corporation or a bank or something similar, so great was the darkness within so many of them. She was afraid she might be called upon to Speak against it. No-one wanted that._

" _I continued my hobby of collecting folk art. In this area of the world, there wasn't a great deal of folk art to be found. I finally settled on some items called, in the colloquial tongue, 'Pee Wee Babies.' They did just as well, and soon I was well on my way to having a complete set. Once my set was complete, I'd ship them back home, like always, though I was unsure exactly where, in my collection room, they'd go. By the Maori masks, perhaps? The Voodun figurines, maybe? Well, I'd figure it out later. For now, one thing at a time._

" _And then I did something very stupid, even for me. I got involved with a local girl._

" _Yes, whoever is reading this is probably shaking his or her head, rolling his or her eyes, and wondering, as the human saying goes, 'what was he_ _thinking_ _?' In my own defense, I can only say I suppose I wasn't thinking._

" _I should have remembered from my training: humans and my sort_ _do __not_ _intermix._

" _You see, I am what humans call an angel."_

… _.._

"C'mon, Carls!" Sam was in a rush. "We're gonna be late for the awards show!"

"Since when do you care? You've never cared about awards before."

"Since the buffet line's about to close!"

Oh, right. Carly closed her eyes momentarily in resignation. For just a moment, she'd forgotten that her best friend was a "foodie." And there was a free buffet at the awards show. They headed downstairs.

"I can't _believe_ it!" Spencer's voice drifted up from downstairs. The two emerged to find Carly's distraught older brother standing in the middle of the room, his expression half-way between being stunned and furious. _"Somebody stole my bike!"_

…..

" _I'd been informed of the best way to fit in here on was once referred to as Midgard. All (Ha! 'All!') I really had to do was, analyze and identify my own natural impulses…and do the opposite._

" _It had to be more complicated than that, I told myself. There was no way it was that simple. Still, this was what I had been told, by those who should know. So I wandered out into the street, seeing if I could, as the human term goes, 'get into character.'_

" _I didn't realize that it was anything but simple._

" _There was a very nice bike out in front. I admired it for a moment. Something about it—perhaps what humans would call an instinct or impulse—warned me that it was important._

" _Now, what I'd normally do in a case such as this, would be to admire the workmanship, the craftsmanship—craftpersonship?—and the taste of the owner. Perhaps this was part of his own collection. I should wait right here for him to come down, and compliment him on his prize. Perhaps we could talk about our respective collections._

" _Except…except something told me that wasn't in keeping with my character, the character I was supposed to be. The one thing I wouldn't do, never do, normally, is steal it, take it unlawfully. So it stood to reason, by all I had been told, that that was the very thing I should do._

" _I resisted this impulse with all of what I've been told is a formidable (some prefer the term 'stubborn') willpower. No. There was no way on Earth that this was what I should do. There had to be something else…._

" _But what?_

" _In the end, I acquiesced that this was precisely what my instructions had told me to do if I wished to remain in character here on Earth. So…it gives me no pleasure at all to say I took the bike."_

… _.._

"So….why'd you take my bike?" Spencer was angry, but there was something about the young man in front of him that somehow defused his anger.

"I…I wanted it." _Another lie. Was there no end to the untruths I had to tell upon this world? It was no wonder humans wanted off of it, through their space programs. No wonder some of them went insane. That, too, was another way to leave this world._

"It didn't occur to you that taking my bike was, like, _wrong?_ "

 _Of course it did._ _But I said nothing. What could I say?_

Something in the angry face in front of Griffin softened somewhat. "Tell you what. Let's…let's just let bygones be bygones. Hey, I'm willing if you are." And he stuck out his hand.

But Griffin just crossed his arms, standing there in his black leather jacket. "I don't want your sympathy."

"Sympathy, no. _Forgiveness,_ yes."

Something changed in Griffin's face, and Spencer took note of it. _He'd found a weak spot._ With a crooked smile, Griffin stuck out his own hand, and shook the one in front of him.

"Hey, Spence, who ya got in—oh!" Carly burst into the room. Her gaze settled on the newcomer. "Who's this?"

"Carls, this is Griffin. He's the guy who stole my bike. But he brought it back, and everything's cool now."

"Oh?" _The one called "Carls's" face twisted in an unmistakable expression of distaste. Good. I'd been briefed on Earth girls. They were nothing but trouble._ "A common thief? And he's here instead of behind bars because….?" Even as she spoke, Sam came in behind her. "Hey, who's this?"

Again, introductions were made. _The blonde girl crossed her arms, also with that same disgusted expression on her face_. "So you're the bike thief?"

"I am." _After all, it was the truth, so I had no problem uttering it._ _I turned to Spencer._ "You did not tell me you had sisters." The blonde sputtered, laughing.

"Ah, no. Only Carly's my actual sister. This is Sam, her friend." He turned to the two girls. "How was the awards show?"

"Delicious!" was the blonde's report.

Carly gave her friend a look. "It was very informative. Freddy got several good ideas for the show. One of 'em involves getting a faster router though. That's gonna cost."

"We'll talk about it."

 _I mostly just stand there, watching them talk. It's so very fascinating. The brunette has so many lines of potential radiating outward from her, it almost reminds me of a star. Were I human, I'd be dazzled by their brilliance. The blonde also has a superlative amount of such lines, but not all of hers go upward. Some fall downwards, towards darkness._

 _I fervently hope I am never called upon to Speak against her._

 _The brunette is looking at me again, still with that same expression on her face. It's a lovely face, for a human._ "Casing the joint?"

 _Casing…? Oh, right. I understand._ "No. Merely…admiring. That's all." _There seems little point in maintaining my pose; these humans are firmly convinced of my humanity._

"Hey, Carls, don't be too hard on 'im, okay?" _I look up in surprise. What is Spencer talking about? Why should she not be "too hard" on me?_ "I've got an idea. I'm gonna take 'im under my wing."

 _I passionately hope nobody noticed me start slightly when he said "wing."_

…

… _.._

 _Time passed. I've included a complete and very detailed, not to mention extraordinarily embarrassing, report of the proceedings for upload. To make a long story short, I very stupidly "went out" with Carly a few times, enough to develop feelings for her, as I thought she had for me. I really should have known better. Well, I know better now._

"Do you want to break up?" I asked her. _But she just looked at me, with a dazed expression on her face. A brief look inside…oh. She was seeing the "Pee Wee Babies" flying all around me. I suppose that would shock any human._

 _So I leave. I go back to the apartment. Aunt Maggie is there; I can tell from her expression that she knows all about what's transpired. "Don't be too hard on yourself, Gryphon. You aren't the first to fall for an Earth girl."_

" _No, but I should have known better. It's not like I wasn't told."_

" _Well, yeah." She comes over and sits by me, crossing her legs. "You know, even if you were precisely who you pretended to be…a human being, I mean…this is for the better. If she and her friends can't understand and accept you for who you are…flaws and all…none of them are mature enough for you. None of them are worthy."_

" _I wish I could take comfort in that, Aunt Maggie. It's just…right now…."_

" _Now you're coming to realize why this place is called a 'Vale of Tears.' Heartache abounds here…and we're not immune to it. Hence the guidelines. They're there to protect us as much as to protect the humans themselves."_

 _I sit there and think. I know I'll get over this, given time. It's just, right now…_

 _She slaps me on the knee. "Come on. Let's prepare dinner and our report for High Command. Perhaps we won't be stationed here much longer."_

"Pee Wee Babies? Griffin collects Pee Wee Babies?"

"Yeah. You ever heard of anything more _retarded?_ " Sam was practically beside herself with laughter.

"Yeah," said Freddy. "As a matter of fact, I have. A certain someone used to collect Army men. _Other people's_ Army men."

Sam stopped laughing. "Oh, come on. I was a kid."

Freddy nodded. "Yeah. I guess twelve's a kid. That was what? Three, four years ago?" He turned to Carly. "Did you ever stop collecting Little Miss Makeover replacement makeup kits?"

"Hey, those are different! Those are collectable items! I mean, that's….Pee Wee Babies are for little kids!"

"You didn't collect Army men because _you_ liked Army men. You collected Army men because _somebody else_ liked Army men. So you took theirs." Again he turned to Carly. "Little Miss Makeover replacement makeup? Didn't you say something the other day about all the clutter in your room? And why is that so much more mature?" He looked them both over; their looks of hilarity had begun to fade. "I hope you guys didn't _make fun_ of him for daring to share something that personal with you. You didn't, did you?"

Silence.

Freddy left the room without saying another word.

A long, long moment. Then Carly spoke into the silence of the room. "I…guess I owe him an apology. I never thought about it like that."

Sam was equally quiet. Then, "They're just some dumb Army men. I don't even, I don't even play with 'em, never did. I don't even know why I…collected 'em." _Except to torment others, particularly Freddy._

"That tears it." Carly got up, determination on her face. "I'm gonna march straight over there and tell him I'm sorry. It's the least I can do. After that….I dunno. We'll see. He'd be right not to want anything more to do with me. But I still gotta do this."

 _I know who it is at the door before she signals for entrance. No, not this. I'm not ready for this, but…something's different about her aura. Something…apologetic?_

 _I open the door._ "Hey, Carly." _Her expression is decidedly downcast._

"Hey, Griffin. Can—can I come in?"

"Of course." _I open the door wider, and let her in. She goes and sits on the couch, knees together, hands clasped before her._

"I, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for making fun of you about the Pee Wee Babies thing. I mean, it was totally my bad. It…it was a mean thing to do. You went and shared something with me that you'd never told another person about, ever, and I had to go and laugh at it. You trusted me, and I stomped all over that trust. And that goes against everything I've ever believed in, about myself. I'm…ashamed of myself.

"I don't know why I did it. I, I just did. It just seemed….I don't know. Somehow it just didn't seem like something I thought you'd do." _She doesn't seem to be able to look me in the eyes. I don't understand why. They're just eyes._ "So…can you forgive me?"

 _I smile, looking at her. If only she could see herself as I see her…_ "Of course I can." _Now she looks up, almost surprised, as though she thought I'd say no. Poor thing. Is this what this world has done to you?_ "And I have a peace offering for you."

"A peace offering? Grif, I should be the one giving you a peace offering! What do you-*" She stops, and her eyes widen as I produce the router she and her brother had spoken of earlier. "Grif…is that what I think it is?"

"If you think it's a type 3 serial wireless 802.11q router, then, yes, it is." I said, handing her the device. "I found this at a yard sale for a pitifully small price. They were selling it for junk, since it was broken; I repaired it. It wasn't that hard." _A little tech from home goes a looooonng way._ "This _is_ what you were talking about, wasn't it?"

"Oh, _definitely!_ " She threw her arms around me, then drew back and looked me in the eyes. "You've gotta come see us when we're shooting; you and Freddy could talk shop for hours, I'll bet."

"Uh…" _Now was my chance. "Sorry, Carly, it just wouldn't be a good idea, we come from two different worlds"—literally—"we're too unalike…"—You've_ _no_ _idea how true that is- And none of it made a bit of difference when I saw the look in her eyes. She was_ _expecting_ _me to reject her. I can't help it. I feel myself melting away inside. I know what's happening. I just can't stop it._ "Of course, Carly. I'd love to."

 _The kiss was totally unexpected. Totally pleasant, but totally unexpected._

 _What have I gotten myself into_ _this_ _time?_

 _The End?_


End file.
